Now and then I challenge students to write a "Remedies Theme Song"
Below are some of the entries.

Why Not an Injunction?  (by Arielle Bhumitra--2005 winner)
(To the tune of What’s Up by 4 Non Blondes)


Almost a year of my life and still it seems
I am going to court trying to get relief
Some type of coercion

I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the court would give me
Some coercive remedy
Or whatever that means

So I cry sometimes when I’m writing that brief
To stop it all, to get relief
Then I start feeling a little peculiar

So I head out to court
And I step inside
I take a deep breach
I get real high
Then I scream from the top of my lungs

Why not an injunction?
And I say hey ey ey ey
Hey ey ey ey ey
I say hey
Why not an injunction?

And I try, oh my God do I try
I try all the time
In this legal institution

And I pray, oh my God do I pray
I pray every single day
For also restitution.

So I cry sometimes when I’m writing that brief
To stop it all, to get relief
Then I start feeling a little peculiar

So I head over to court
And I step inside
I take a deep breath
And I get real high
Then I scream from the top of my lungs
Why not an injunction?

I said hey, why not an injunction?
Almost a year of my life and still it seems
I’m going to court trying to get relief
Some type of coercion

---

Fly Like a Legal (by Glen Anaiscourt; to the tune of "Fly like an Eagle")
Winning song in 2004

The scales did their tipping, tipping, tipping, into my favor. (2x)
So now I’ll be sipping, sipping, sipping, all of the flavor. (2x)

I’m gonna fly with my legal remedy
And if it can’t be legal, I will go with equity
I’m going to fly like a legal, wait and see,
Oh yeah, it’s a revolution!

I’ve been damaged.
You done away with my smile.
Dashed expectations,
After you fed me that pile.

And in reliance on the words that you spoke,
I spent my money out of pocket on your smoke!

So I will fly with my legal remedy
And if it can’t be legal, I’m sure going with equity
I’m going to fly like a legal, wait and see,
Oh yeah, through the revolution!

How dare you ask me—
As I seek to enjoin—
For a legal remedy,
After you’ve harmed me, so greatly?

Don’t you think I’d balance
All those crazy equities?
This ain’t adverse to the public interest!

Oh, I will fly with my legal remedy.
And if it can’t be legal, I’m sure going with equity!
I’m going to fly like a legal, wait and see,
Oh yeah, it’s a revolution!

Scales did their tipping, tipping, tipping, into my favor (1x)
Now I’ll be sipping, sipping, sipping, all of the flavor (1x)

You asked me to give you a hand,
Then you went and put boulders all over my land!

I’m sittin’ in my kitchen in a wheelchair,
And I can’t reach nothin’!
Hey, that’s not fair!

So I will fly with my legal remedy
And if it can’t be legal, I’m sure going with equity
I’m going to fly like a legal—wait and see . . .

No more torturing those guys in your jailhouse!
No more separating out our kids in public schools!
No more keeping women inspectors off your silly Starkist boat!
When they’re just trying to protect dolphins!

UBI REMEDIUM IBI JUS!

---

First Runner-up: Remedies, Oh Those Remedies
(by Scott Franklin; to the tune of "Danke Schoen")

Remedies, oh those remedies
Thank you for---addressing courtroom pleas

Jackie O---Got an injunction
Photog was a pest---That she stressed
Balance test---No contest
*******
Remedies, oh those remedies
Thank you for---Using the UCC

I recall---the rarest vette of all
The deal was not express---I confess
Uniqueness---Now means less
********
Remedies, oh those remedies
Thank you for my---brand new deep freeze

Salesman sleaze---charged outrageous fees
Caveat emptor—harsh on the poor
Fridge cost way more—than at the store
*********
Remedies, oh those remedies
Now I can—use my water skies

Stupid causeway—ruined my day
Easement will stay—short bridge OK
Remedies—Danke Schoen

---

HONORABLE MENTION: Equity (by Phillip Stuller)
(Sung to the tune of Harmony, by Elton John)

Hello, neighbor hello
Can I use your land for a while?
I promise you I’ll get my rocks off
before you have to go to court to file

Hello, sucker hello
There’s no real legal remedy
The costs are too hard to compute,
And you’d have to sue me in multiplicity

Equity to me
Is a pretty good Remedy
If you have clean hands
You might come into equity
Equity, it aids the vigilant
And not those who slumber on their rights
Equality is always, always, always Equity

Preserve the status quo
The judge is going to grant my TRO
She heard my motion ex-parte
Now, I can’t move real slow
In ten days I’ve got to make my prelim go
 
Equity to me
Is a pretty good Remedy
Better wash your hands
Or you won't get equity
Equity, it aids the vigilant
And not those who slumber on their rights
Equality is always, always, always Equity